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      欢迎来到原中小学教育资源网!

      这个关键时期,父母不逼孩子一把,真会毁他一生!后悔看晚了...

      瑞文头条 时间:2018-10-11 我要投稿
      【www.dnfdy.com - 瑞文头条】

        父母的教育方法,直接决定孩子将来的成就。


        有很多家长都问我,该怎么教孩子。

        很抱歉,这个问题实在笼统,无法给出一个最好的回答。

        但有一点,每个家长都要注意,在孩子成长的关键时期,你要配以恰当的教育方法,才能事半功倍。

        不然,很可能误了他们的未来。


        一

        在同事的介绍下,我认识了一对夫妻,他们一看就是“望子成龙”的典型,只可惜生了个“熊孩子”,至今仍然不知道该如何管教。

        我请他们说说平时孩子的状况,发现他们遇到了大多数家长都会遇到的问题——孩子叛逆。

        他们的儿子,龙龙,今年读初二,成绩一般,也不爱学习,每天都沉迷打游戏。

        用他妈妈的话说,“手机不离身,眼睛不离屏幕,一有空就要玩”。

        每次家长阻拦时,龙龙都会发脾气,甚至和他们吵起来,如今已经打坏家里好几个花瓶了。

        爸爸觉得孩子还小,没必要管得太紧,再加上总是被气到,于是开始摆出一副“不想管”的态度。

        妈妈倒是心疼儿子,认为学校布置的学习任务太重了,于是默许了儿子不做部分作业,她来帮他做。

        听到这儿,我已经明白他们的问题出在哪儿了。在孩子成长的关键时候,家长居然选择了放任不管的态度,这绝对不是一件好事。

        许多孩子在初中阶段都会叛逆,特别是初二,没有刚进初中的不适应感,也没有面临中考的紧迫感,再加上各方面开始成熟,因此渴望发出自己的声音。

        也就是说,想要证明自己长大,敢于反抗家长与教师。

        对于初中阶段且开始叛逆的孩子,家长一定要正确引导,才能避免孩子走偏。


        二

        我是这么建议这位妈妈的:

       。ㄊ撸

        尽快和孩子来一次深入谈话,但绝对不能批评孩子。

        用一个朋友的口吻,了解孩子的真实想法,表示自己能理解、接受。

        简单说说自己最近的经历和感受,争取得到孩子的理解。


        以上这3点,适用于大部分孩子叛逆的家长。

        其实,孩子的叛逆只是一种阶段性的特征,不是性格,更不会决定孩子一生的发展。

        家长最需要做的就是理解、引导与支持,只有在平等的关系下,沟通才能顺利进行。

        只有当和孩子达成统一战线后,他们才会支持你的下一步行动。

        那就是,帮助孩子走回正路。

        很明显,这位妈妈习惯宠爱孩子,却很少为孩子的未来做打算。

        她按照我的建议和龙龙沟通后,发现这个脾气倔的孩子居然哭了,才知道他都在想什么。

        原来,龙龙也想考到好成绩,希望得到父母和老师的表扬。

        可他确实静不下心学习,成绩一直提不上去,再加上经常被爸爸骂,所以就有些自暴自弃了。

        为此,龙龙妈妈特意和班主任沟通,说明了龙龙的真实情况,希望班主任和各科任老师能够帮助龙龙提高成绩。

        最起码,不要把他当成一个“坏孩子”。

        我想说的是,很多孩子之所以表现出明显的叛逆,主要源于“失望”:

        对自己失望,是因为不知道自己该怎么做。

        对他人失望,所以才拒绝和别人的沟通。


        三

        我女儿琪琪读初中时,因为追星,成绩一落千丈。

        初二课业很重,她每天做作业都要做好几个小时,每每熬夜到将近一点。

        刚开始时我们都不明白女儿的效率为何如此低,后来才发现,她居然躲在房间里追剧,玩电脑。

        看到她从全班第一名掉到三十名开外,我真的很痛心,当时直接拔了电脑电源线,骂了她一顿。

        琪琪就在那儿哭,也不争辩,后来我们冷战了一段时间。

        扪心自问,身为父母,确实不可能总是维持理智,何况琪琪本来是个那么优秀的孩子。

        我真的担心女儿为此一蹶不振,所以在周末的时候,带她去看了场电影,又找了个安静的地方,和她好好地说了一会儿话。

        我为自己之前不好的态度道歉,说自己能够理解十几岁女孩对世界的好奇,同时也表达了对她学习的关心和担忧。

        总之,尽可能把两人的距离缩短,多和她交心,说心里话,也就得到了她真心的反馈。

        她抱着我哭的那一瞬间,我知道她已经明白了,她也一定能对自己负责。

        因为叛逆,多少孩子的心思跑偏了,甚至改变了原来的性格。

        每个家长一定要知道,遇到叛逆,该如何合理引导孩子。


        四

        著名教育家苏霍姆林斯基认为,教育的实质正是在于克服自己身上的动物本能和发展人所特有的全部本性。

        人之叛逆,本身就是动物性的体现——拒绝束缚,趋向自由与任性。

        而教育的目的就在于引导,引导孩子避免接触人性中不良的因素,来发展优秀的本性。

        因此,每位家长都是教育家,特别是面对中学阶段叛逆期的孩子,更要学会引导。

        孩子爱玩游戏,就要让他们懂得在玩中学,感受知识的趣味。

        孩子经常偷懒,就要让他们意识到懒惰的代价,非勤奋无法取得成就。

        孩子脾气不好,就要了解他们内心的真正诉求,帮助他们完善人格。

        家长不能纵容孩子,孩子也不能总依赖父母。

        在最关键的时候,逼孩子一把,才能将他们推上更高的位置,让他们成为更好的人。

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